The only way to get out is to get in!

207728C1-41DC-45E1-B1C2-4261F5C591E0There is a whole other world behind this tangible world, where energies are at work. But you need another consciousness to be aware of that world. 

The door to this hidden world is inside each and everyone of us! The problem is that most people are a prisoner of the world outside of them. We are all looking for freedom and happiness on the outside.


Only the people who experience this occult world can tell you about it.

There is no reason to be afraid of this world of energies, unless your frequency is so low that you attract lower energies towards yourself. Like attracts like. That’s why we should all raise our frequency.

Think and feel loving and positive towards your own self and the self of others. Be compassionate. See behind your own mask and behind the mask of others. Most people are afraid to be themselves and were hurt along the way. It takes a great deal of courage to lose your own mask, look at your true self, feel all the pain and suffering, the guilt, the hate, the manipulation of your own ego…upto the point that you can finally FREE YOUR REAL SELF.  We should all get out of the prison we have created for our selves. Whatever we desire are not TRUE desires. Most desires are thoughts which were somehow manipulated into our minds, pulling us like cords on a puppet to do things, buy things… and we all are a part of this big puppet show, keeping it real while all reality seems to be lost somehow..

Cut the cords now!

If you would have all your desires fulfilled this very instant, you would be thrilled for a while and then suddenly it would dawn upon you: nothing has changed and I’m still longing to fill this void inside of me. How come? Why do I feel so unfulfilled? You would start looking for the anwers inside and suddenly a whole other world would open up to you.   Finally you would realise that it’s better to find the value in your own true self than to find it outside your self or to know your own true self than to desire to be known. Because when you find all those things inside your self, there will no longer be a need to find them outside your self and you will see through any kind of manipulation that is put upon you. You will feel complete, free, happy and you will experience a new awareness: one that exceeds you own limited thinking. You will have “seen the light” and you will start shining your own true self and know that as a light it is your duty to shine and enlighten this world and -symbolically – uncover a world of milk and honey where we all get to drink from the fountain of youth.

I agree with David Lynch about this 

The white wolf or the black wolf…which one do you feed?

I never ask for pefection. Because perfection destroys creativity and creativity creates “experiences”. Experience creates mastering.

I’m very good with cats, because my own energy works in the same way. Sometimes from those 24 hours within a day – like a cat – I will be zen for about 20 hours, travelling within, observing the world around me, wondering and pondering and then finally I will rise and take action.  In 4 hours of extreme devotion I can move mountains. 😂😂😂  If there is a shortcut to do it…I will find it. But I won’t take it if it’s the wrong way.

What is the wrong way for me? The wrong way is the road that will lead to more negativity, more destruction for my self and other people.  Somehow I’m connected to the program “save humanity and lead them towards the light”.  Are you one of those too? 🤪 While freeing other people I am freeing my own self and receiving more light.  What I do for other people I also do for my own self. 

The effects of what people do, can be felt on so many levels. If only they knew about this. The inside is the outside. As above, so below.

Be truth and you will see truth

Know thy self and thy will be known

Whatever you do to others, you do to your own self.

I’m not focussed on achieving things. I used to be different and went in a war with my self to MAKE IT BIG! But it made me very unhappy. Little did I know that all my desires came from this EGO who was fighting my TRUE SELF. But my true self was so very strong and surpassed my ego with creativity. It was like someone else wrote the lyrics to my songs. I didn’t even know what it was about. I was getting in information  without my knowing, felt like I was going in a trance. Now I know what it is about.

People tend to always want to achieve something while forgetting to be in the NOW and be grateful for what they already have. It’s not the hard work that will get you anywhere, rather the attitude of thinking outside of the box and finding new ways to go about a situation.

I’m someone who has seen it all: I’ve been at rock bottom in the depths of hell, confused, tormented, suicidal, torn into a million pieces, only to be glued back together and lifted up to witness the experience of  IAM almighty on the highest mountain of the higher self, where life is filled with miracle and wonder.

When you see me in person, I appear to be a fragile young feminine person, very silent, listening, watching, observing. But when I ever open my mouth, out comes this old wise man who only talks when the time is given. I only live by truth and those who do not respect this will see the rebel in me.  I respect the choices other people make. However “free will” is just an illusion to me. We are either controlled and manipulated by the limited thinking of the ego-mind, living to get the best and fuck the rest… or guided by the unlimited realm of the higher self, appointed CEO of our own god-given power of manifestation to help the enterprise of humanity. 

That choice is ours to take.

Sometimes I wonder what would be the consequences of me taking certain actions and by wondering this I realise I’ve just created these consequences for me and limited my own self from taking action. That is the power of Saturn or Satan who offers me counter action. The dark side that offers me lessons and wants me to learn from experience. The part that brings suffering for me and asks me “well, what did we learn? Would you like more of the same or would you like to change your ways?”  

Every time we do something on our own we can feed the white wolf or the black wolf. We are free to do as we like, but we will soon see the consequences of every action we take. When we feed the white wolf, we do good deeds, are morally right, …we feed LIGHT to our white beast within. But when we think negative thoughts, fail to learn, act immoral, judge others, fill our selves with hatred, jealousy, pride and shame…we feed the black wolf.

Now what beast are most people feeding when you look at society now? We are feeding it too much and giving it the wrong kind of food. Everything around us triggers our beast and instead of moulding our nature into a lovely happy pussycat, we mould it into snakes, crocodiles, cold blooded creatures. Society is becoming a cold, harsh and dangerous place to live in.

Mankind…acknowledge your beast within! This doesn’t mean you should become evil, but you should embrace your true nature and find a good way to rise above it.

The way you deal with your own beast is also the way you are dealing with animals and nature around you. Are you being kind to them, respecting their true nature? Are you feeding kindness and appreciation to animals or nature or do you feel above them and think less of them, never pay attention to them? Because the kind of energy you give to nature and animals is also the kind of energy you give to your own beast, your body and your true nature within. Give it light and don’t leave it behind in the dark! See what it needs and give it the right kind of food. Don’t neglect it!

Never once think you are alone in this world. The higher self is there to guide you. But it will never take your hand and drag you to the path you are meant to go. You have to ask for assistance. Did you forget about the insurance policy you signed when you entered this world? “Ask and thou shalt receive!”.

A good father loves all of his children and when you ask for something that is helpful to all his children, he will allow it. 

Be open to your higher self and ask for guidance. The force of the creator is within you. See it, hear it! Turn the higher self into your best friend. 

Be silent and listen! 

The dark side wants your power to manifest!

42D0E917-0C3D-4356-A9A7-73F062DE7D10At some point I came to such weird conclusions and furthermore I found the proof on the internet to back up those conclusions. I saw a worse fate for humanity. This world was getting darker and darker. 

But still, I had the feeling I was somehow being tricked into believing this.

Every time I went on youtube, out of the blue a video popped up and my belief into this “dark world being created” became overwhelming.

I was like: “ What am I going to do to save humanity now? It seems impossible”

And then it dawned upon me. There is no such thing as a “fixed future”, but apparently there are forces behind the scenes who would like us to believe in their plans…because when we give it our energy, our attention….with our god given power of creation, we simply manifest it.

But the truth of the fact is that we are not bound to any limitations. We can be whoever we want to be and create the world we would like to live in….we just have to stop believing the lies we are presented with and create our own reality.

The IAM presence is everyone’s way out of this. We are no longer manipulated by ego, but are guided by our higher selves. 

The only source of information that will not lead us astray is our higher self.

However when one has this connection, one has to be careful with thought, because everything you think or believe that aligns with your initial programming, wiill manifest itself somehow. That’s why we are bombarded with information and a lot of this information is negative and raises fear.

So, my advise to all of you – even to my own self – TURN AWAY from all the fear that is being created, stop watching TV, stop clicking those videos they “recommend you should see”, because THEY WANT YOU to give your energy to the LIES they have created. The dark side will always try to tempt you from giving your energy to the “dark patterns” they have in mind and when they get enough people to believe in them….this negativity will manifest. 

Be mindful and know that YOU have the power of the creator within you! The dark side is not connected to the source of light and they need the people with this connection to manifest their plans. Don’t believe in them. Say “NO” to them. Don’t let these negative thoughts inluence you! Instead fill this world with light and believe in your god-given power within your self.

May the force be with you!


The mind of a cat


I’m a cat. It says it all. You can have a good life with me if we respect each other. I will be all cute and nice and will appreciate your company, I will do my best to make you happy. But if you take it for granted…let’s put one thing straight: I AM NOT YOUR DOG. The day you start disrespecting me, I will do the same. You will find out I have some pretty damn sharp nails. Start acting like a low life towards me and you’ll find out that I have low lives for breakfast! Would you like to see my evil side?

Ignore me and I’ll start ignoring you. 

It doesn’t mean I don’t love you! I will give you the freedom to be your self if you allow me to be my self. It means that my love and kindness has a limit and that I will not tolerate disrespect. I will tolerate a lot from you, be very open-minded. But do not drive me in a corner or drive me up the wall! Do not take me for a fool! I will give you back the energy you are giving me. 

People make everything seem very complicated. Why? 

It’s your choice. Do you want to see the bad pussycat or do you want me to be your friend for life? Do you want me to be your nightmare or your perfect dream? Don’t you think that is fair? 

You can try and manipulate me, shame me, blame me. It doesn’t work for me. I know my self…I know what I am. I don’t care about what people think. Live and let live.


The death of an ego and the immaculate conception

D2EBB2E4-450E-4E5F-A326-A83B5F5D9274Ego-society wants you this way…unhappy…it pays off. Because when you are never happy, you are always looking for something to fill the void inside. So, you buy anything that temporarily makes you feel better. Hence, why this world is full of consumerism and materialism. But that “temporary stuff” doesn’t last that long. Again you are longing for something new. You are full of desires.

Another way to feel better is to look for praise, for worthiness, because inside you feel worthless. You never say it and keep your head held high. But sometimes you feel like crying. In this world of masquerades, you don’t want to take your mask off….how will people react when they see your true naked self?You keep on going.

Dare to take your mask off and people will go against you, ridiculing you, putting you down…anything not to face the fear of seeing their own real self. When you go around being your true self in the world of today, you will feel like a piece of clay in a world of statues. Everybody around you is trying to manipulate your sensitive clay and is trying to mold you into their image. You see them running up to you with labels and every time you have to refuse and say “No, thank you. I don’t want to be labeled…I don’t want to live up to your standards”. Very tiring! Because the force of self is more inward and less active. The best way to go about it is to just disappear and become invisible. People are often so busy fighting themselves and the selves of others that they don’t notice the people who have freed their self from labels. However, if you want to go out unnoticed, you‘d have to stay quiet, dress neutral and keep your distance. The moment you get noticed, the best thing you can hope for is that they think you are a teenager when they are facing what is a “lack of character” to them or “a crazy person”, when they can’t understand what is in front of them. You confuse them.

Facing your own true self and getting aware of your own ego is a hard thing to do. It is going through hell before you finally get to heaven, a pretty lonely place when it comes to the people that really want to be in there. For the average dude it is a boring place 😇😇😇.  

Something remarkable that is happening now is that the universe is pretty tired of people not wanting to face their own selves and it has a trick up its sleeves named “twin flames”.  

Some day you get to meet your own true self in person and you feel unconditional love for that person. It has nothing to do with physical attraction, rather than the attraction of 2 energies who feel an inexplicable desire to be with each other. It’s not like “falling in love”, where two people see an image of each other they WANT to see, but it is “seeing the other person as he/she really is”….the way you truly are inside. Your life is turning into an emotional roller coaster as you both balance out the male and female forces inside.

You go through the sensation of electrical shocks and magnetism as the two of you heal each others old wounds, crying your eyes out, making it safe to be your real self and gradually dissolving the ego. But like a magnet you will also repulse each other as you refuse to accept that what you see is who you really are. 

It’s nature’s cruelest joke to face you with an undetectable analyst as a lover. 

You can only end up living together when the 2 of you have accepted yout true selves completely. After that an energetic child gets born from the self (immaculate conception), replacing the old ego as the active part, and you experience the world as a newborn. No more labels! In that aware state you finally see what this world is really like and how people are manipulated through their labels. Your life will never be the same and you will have found your soul’s purpose.

The rich man who was poor

Once upon a time – as so many stories begin – there was this rich man who had everything in the world. But whatever he did, whatever he bought…nothing ever seemed to fill the hole he had inside. He felt he was missing something and it made him feel very unhappy. He just bought himself a Rolce Royce only a week ago, and he was now looking at this “perfect machine” through the window of his living room, wondering “why do I still feel unhappy when I have everything I ever wanted? Why do I feel so worthless when my estimated value is higher than the prince of Saudi?”

One day he was drunk, went outside and stepped into a cab. “Whereto sir?”, the driver asked. He replied “to a place where I can just fly away, without a worry or a care”. So the cab driver dropped him off at the airport. There also he was asked “whereto, sir”. He replied “I don’t care, some wild and untouched place with few people…. where nobody knows my name”

He stepped on the plane thinking “ I don’t care. My credit card will get me anywhere. Money talks!” and when the plane landed he went straight to this tiny pub and started drinking some more. 

The next morning, he woke up in the middle of nowhere. What happened? He couldn’t remember anything from the day before. He was sitting with his back against a tree, and he heard something above his head. So, he looked up and saw a man climbing up a tree. “What are you doing?” he shouted at him. The man looked down and said “here…catch….do you want one? They are ripe.” and he threw a piece of fruit down at him. 

“What is this?”, he asked.

“We call it food from the gods” the man replied, as he climbed back down from the tree. “It tastes just like papaya” and he cut the fruit open.

The rich man was hungry, so he took a bite from the fruit. “Wow, this is delicious” he said, as he looked around and saw the place was full of these trees. “Is this your land?”, the rich man asked. The man laughed “I’m here and I’m on it…it’s as good as mine as it is yours”.

The rich man saw business and in his mind he saw himself putting down a factory. Fruits were put in cans and shipped to the richest countries, sold as a delicacy. He discussed his plan with the man and proudly said to him “you will be my manager. I will make sure that you have a house with a swimming pool and you’ll have to work hard…but there will be plenty of spare time too”.

The man laughed…”But, sir….I already have a hut by the sea. I don’t need a swimming pool. There is plenty of fish in the sea and plenty of fruit to eat. I have all the time in the world and I trust that everything I need will be provided to me. Mother nature takes care of me and of all the others around here” and then he became a little angry about this rich dude who was planning to take away the food of the village.

To make it short…the rich man had to run for his life, followed by a bunch of angry people. He ran back to his “civilized world” where he realized that all this desiring, all this wanting more and never having enough…never being grateful with what he had…all this pride and living up to this image that people were seeing of him…that this is what made him feel unhappy and that the only thing he was missing was just “to be able to be his real natural self.”

So all this time he had been very rich on the outside, but he couldn’t help feeling poor on the inside.

The crazy one

Sometimes people see me as “being crazy”, because I get confused when I get too many “incoming data”. What “normal” is to others is often “too much” for me.

My brain works in a very analytic kind of way, a lot of “connections” are made and “a normal conversation” can be very tiring for me. There’s a lot of incoming data coming my way (not only your words) and to be honest…it can drive me crazy. Hence, why I avoid physical contact with people.

On the other hand, I might seem like a genius when I get to a conclusion out of what others might think is “thin air” and ask themselves “how do you know all that?”          I cannot be in society, because of the way it is now. I’m not the only one. There are others who face the same problems. Imagine me having a conversation with a psychiatrist, telling him all that, telling him I want to enlighten this world, because just like me there are other people who “go in sane” from this society we are living in. I tell him I’m in a secret society and that I can’t give him any names, because we don’t really know each other, that I communicate to these “energies” and that they led me to this society….now how do you think he will react?

I’ve been called “a stubborn psychotic”, because I refuse to believe that what I go through are “illusions”. Yes, I’m not normal. But normal people are not aware of “the world behind the veil…the energies that drive this world.” I never talk about my “inabilities” to anyone, Because of the fact that people just like to put down other people. Society demands “perfection”. I hate this. I’m a REBEL when it comes to perfection.  Yes, I have disabilities (compared to normal people), but I also have “abilities” which normal people aren’t aware of. It has happened to me that I go to supermarket the one with all these brands, colors, choices, loud music and awfully small labels and that I look straight at someone without recognizing them….because I need a few seconds to identify someone, and they go like “hello??”. But then I do tell them “I was on another planet” and that “I hate being in the supermarket with that many people around me”. It also happens that two people feel the same to me and that I mix them up.

I often get the question “why don’t you do anything with your music” and I just say “I hate showbiz”, but I do like to create….not all the time.. I don’t want to be “commercialized”….at some point I’m just a vessel to these energies around me and WE create something..’.seems weird, but that’s how it goes. I completely understand when normal people see this as an illusion. But think about it for a while… maybe the world we see is not THE TRUE REALITY, because EVERYTHING THAT “IS” NOW, was just a creation of invisible energies in the past which at some point BECAME VISIBLE. Just a crazy thought from a crazy person. Don’t believe me, I’m just A CRAZY ONE.😂😂😂

Money is a tool

25EA6211-4D90-4500-B97B-9E7F42739241Sometimes I wonder what would happen when all of a sudden I became very rich. I can’t complain. The universe provides me with what I need. I don’t need a Gucci bag, but I need quality food, a house, a garden, pure water. I have an Ipad. But I don’t really need that Iphone. My phone just rings. Isn’t that enough? I’m available to the people I give my number to….just call me.  My husband and I share a car, a Volvo. It has plenty of room to transport animals and it doesn’t use up that much diesel. Surely my husband – which is typical for guys – is sometimes obsessed with nice cars and I would like a room to my self to paint and make music.  But how important is that?

We’ve made the decision not to have any children. In stead we have allowed lots of abandoned animals into our lives, which are a joy to be around. My husband also helps out in saving wild animals…from birds to dears. He does that on a voluntary basis. While he is at home busy putting our savings in buying the right stocks and earning – or losing – us some money, Though he has an instinct for buying the right stocks, there’s always a risk involved. The stock market is very boring to him, so he took up voluntary work. He now receives calls from people who have animals in distress and he also drives around picking up wild animals. It’s something he loves doing and he is busy with it from 9 a.m. in the morning until very late in the evening. It’s like being married to a doctor, but on a voluntary basis.

On january 1 – late in the evening and in terrible weather – he drove 400 km to pick up a small wild pig that had been abandoned, while it was in the hands of a zoologist.  I found that to be quite unnecessary and we had words about that.  Next day the pig was dead, even though he thought he did the right thing  by not trusting the zoologist to take care of it.  He sometimes goes overboard into thinking that he can save animals. Once he put a wounded dear into our car. I said, “are you kidding me? What if it destroyed all the windows and got loose on the highway?” He was angry with the boss of the organisation he worked for…when the boss said “picking up a dear is not for you…it’s for the animal centre”. But sometimes even the animal centres don’t want to do it…so he does it. Luckily he now has a dear box from one of the centres and they have provided him with insurance. He has a team of volunteers helping him transport the animals to an animal centre. Nobody gets paid. In fact it just costs money to all the people helping out. But we all see it as “a hobby” and I’d rather spend it on helping an animal than on buying something I don’t really need. We don’t go on vacation and that also saves money.  I’m very happy about that, because I hate lying around on the beach doing nothing. Now that is really boring to me! We’ve turned our place into a “vacation house” and in the summer it’s like heaven to be able to sit in the sun facing the pond and see the wildlife around us. What more do we need?

My husband says “we are rich!” and he is right in a kind of way. We have everything we need and we do what we like to do. We don’t have millions on our bank account…but do we need that? The world provides us with the money we need to – basically – help the world around us. I remember that at a certain point I was pretty worried about money and mostly about being able to find the money to pay off the mortgage every month. But that problem was solved. The money to pay off the mortgage found its way to us. We paid off the damn mortgage.

Sometimes we meet people who have great ideas to do a lot of good. But those “ great ideas” cost a lot of money and we don’t have all that extra money to help them out. Then I wish we would be very rich. However we would try to hide our wealth for others and would have to find a way to distribute it without luring the wrong kind of people towards us. Because when you are rich,  lots of people want to be your friend for the wrong reasons.

So I asked the energies around me, “why not provide us with all that money…so we would be able to do everything possible?”. Surely the day I asked, the universe sent me “message understood. But not quite yet.” How did they do that, you ask? Well, I entered an ALMOST winning combination for a lotery game. I had to enter 5 numbers between 1 and 50 and 4 of them were correct (I missed 1) and from the two additional stars between 1 and 12, I had 1 correct star. Winning them all, 5 numbers and 2 stars would have won me millions. In stead it won me a couple of hundred, a significant difference. But thank you anyway.  It doesn’t amaze me. It happened to me before.

Being rich changes people. I surely would hope it wouldn’t change me, my husband or the people around me. But that is not easy. We would have to find a way to put the money into good use without drawing the attention of all the money-wolves in society. Surely when we would have all the money we would be able to afford a bigger house and a faster car  ( right), but I don’t want it drawing the attention of other people…so how can we do that? And would that make us happier? Probably not the bigger house or the bigger car…. but the fact that it would make us able to put some money into good use.

What is greatness to you?


We don’t use pesticides in our garden and it is full of weeds. We allow them to grow. We see beauty in them that nobody else seems to realise. Some of them carry seeds that nourish the birds. Some even cure diseases.

The bees like to be in our garden and they feel welcome to pollinate…and the trees need the bees to carry fruits. We eat the fruits, free of pesticides. They don’t always look great, but unlike the fruits from the supermarket they are full of vitamins and they protect the body against cancer.
Unfortunately sometimes we need to pull out some weeds because they don’t allow others to grow. We need to find a balance in between and nothing is more important than the survival of the all.

Most human beings see our wild garden and they don’t know how to react at first. But when they enter our garden they are amazed, because it is full of rare insects, rare flowers, wild animals and birds that find shelter. It’s full of beauty they have never seen before. There is an abundance of expensive berries. Nature gives them to us. We eat from them and everybody that enters our garden does so. It doesn’t catch the eye, but it will win your heart once you see the REAL BEAUTY of it!
We protect our garden from those who really don’t know that life is about “allowing others to grow” and that life doesn’t always give you what you desire…but it will give you what you need when you help nature and not go against it.
I still remember when I said to my husband “I’d really like some salamanders here. How come I don’t see any?”. One year later my husband saw them and there are many now. I don’t chase greatness. Because what is greatness? Do you find that you have achieved greatness when your garden is fully conditioned and you get to flaunt with it on the cover of a magazine? Is that greatness to you…so everybody gets to see the image of false perfection? The image THEY want to see. Or do you feel that you have achieved greatness when the rarest creatures want to be in your garden…because it is the garden of Eden to them? What is greatness to YOU?

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The battle of the sexes

Now I bet a lot of people will read this. I have a trigger- word there, SEX.  Society is full of it. I still remember me thinking “WTF is wrong with this society I am living in…it is all about sex.?” I really hate Freud for it. I’m rolling my eyes every time someone mentions “Freud and sex”.  We are not all sexual beings.

Society today is like “sex is healthy, normal…and if you don’t have sexual feelings you are NOT NORMAL. You need to suck dick and eat pussy!” Excuse me? Can I be abnormal for a second here? Look at nature…do animals mate all the time? Do they suck dicks and eat pussy? Or are we saying that the humane species practices more, higher and better sex? I am disgusted to see that sex has become all technical and that few people understand the sacredness of the bonding of two people anymore. Now, we just f*ck each others brains out!

So what happens to those women with a low sexual appetite? They feel like they are pushed into having sex for the sake of normalcy. They crave for human touch. Instead they get turned off by a man who doesn’t really know how to show his love to a woman and thinks that she will get turned on by acting all tough and saying “ show me your tits”. Really?? How about some romance? 

Young people have seen too many movies, and they’ve started ACTING out what seems to be the truth for them. Some of them get disgusted. Am I supposed to do this? Is this part of the package we call “love”.  And then they think “but if I don’t do this I might never get someone to love me”.

Sex is what keeps the human race down….it lowers the frequency. It keeps you from going higher in the light and keeps you locked up in the RED ZONE, the lowest frequency. It’s also the zone of materialism…so I guess that explains why the society we live in is all about money and sex. 

When you get into a higher frequency…that is if society allows you to and you don’t get filled up with desires…you will have less sexual feelings. In my case, I don’t feel male or female anymore and I can just admire a beautiful body without feeling the need to have sex. So, I guess you could say I am asexual. I can have sex…but I don’t really have the desire.  Like “being able to eat”, but not feeling “ hungry”.  I eat…but I really have to be careful in what I eat…because my body will give me hell when I eat unhealthy food. Of course with all the junk food around, commercialized, people get very hungry…and it is understandable.

When you want to get into a higher frequency…you have to learn to master your sexual appetite and your desires. In a higher frequency you will still be creating, but the child will not be a human child…rather a painting, a song.

It’s actually the NEED TO CREATE that drives people. Up yours, Freud! The need to create is what drives the male energy in this world to find a female energy who has the womb, the dark room, to plant the seed in it and make it grow.  See it like you are the photographer in your life and the image you make — the negative — you develop into your dark room…and it becomes a picture, a positive. Both male and female energy are inside a person. It really doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman. You can be a woman with a lot of male energy….feel very male and be very creative or be drawn towards the female gender. The male part in me likes to paint pictures of female beings. He thinks they are very attractive and beautiful. Though — in body — I am physically a woman and… spare me the thought of ever having to live with a woman…that is “the typical trophy female”…. the ones that hurt their own feet to fit into a pair of shoes with high heels and are manipulating men, playing the weak victim, acting like dumb shallow beings, laughing, flattering men’s ego….while they are actually putting their claws around them and are controlling them.  Well, I guess like attracts like. Sure, go on, have a wonderful life of makebelief. However I don’t respect that kind of UNTRUE behavior. There’s nothing wrong with being beautiful and wanting to look beautiful. But when it gets an obsession and when you turn it into a control mechanism…..sorry, not my cup of tea. I would get annoyed and be out of there real fast 😂😂😂— I like men. But those guys who are in front of a mirror longer than the average woman….not really my type either. I would rather exchange ideas than talk about fashion. Okay, everyone enjoys beauty. But I don’t judge a book by its cover. Neither do I think it is appropriate for anyone to tell me what to wear or what to look like. So get your fingers out of my hair when I’m having a bad hair day. You might get the image of me being a gentle soul, but you might want to reconsider when you catch me in a bad mood. I’m not into all the girly-stuff, the chit-chat, the act of “I’m so weak on my high heels…catch me YOU BIG MAN before I fall” Get real, guys! I have hair on my legs too… I just shave it when I’m wearing revealing clothes because it just looks better.

I can hear some of you thinking now “she’s a feminist”. Are you kidding me? More women on top? Don’t we already have enough to do? Feminism brought women more duties….not more rights….now women HAVE to go to work and the true woman is now faced with a competitive world where she has to ACT AS A MAN if she wants to be taken seriously in this ego-society.  Almost every man is coming home to a wife who is “hardened”, tired and couples get frustrated because of it. The man needs an ear that listens to his problems, a heart to talk to, a gentle soul to balance the hard world he is in.  But the woman now has her own troubles. Besides work she has other stuff to do (which seems to be unappreciated by the man) and she expects the same “listening ear” from the man.  It’s not good for children either. They are put in front of a tv-screen where they grow up to a world of makebelief.  So, no….not a feminist.

Sure I’d like to see more women in power. But only to be themselves, feminin, and balance out this cold harsh material ego-society we are in now. Men and women shouldn’t be competing! The feminin and the masculin is complemental. This world is totally out of balance!

Just like there is this struggle in society between light/darkness, male/female, ego/true self…..there is also this struggle going on within our selves between the left and the right side of our brain. The left side wants to dominate and control with logic and reason. The right  side is more caring, connected, creative. We need a balance between the two. In an ideal world the left side would be guided by the right side. The left has the intent and the right has xs to the know-how. Or basically when the woman feels unappreciated and says “no”, she will not allow her whomb to carry your masculin seed of intent. You can have all the ego you want and be full of intentions…but if you don’t respect your true female divine self….it will be a NO NO.

There is really too much labeling going on about how a woman or man should be. Girls should play with dolls, 😂😂😂 I never did. I tattood them with markers and cut their hair. I had a bear with music coming out of it…so I cut it open to remove the musical box. After that I opened the musical box to see exactly how it worked. Yea, that’s me.

People are pushed to fit in a certain label. But some of us don’t want any of this. This whole male/female labeling is not my thing. Does it come as a surprise when a young girl says she feels more like a male and that nowadays we give hormones and have actual sex changes for young people? What is going on? Am I the only one who thinks that one should accept his real natural self no matter what? If you want to be a man wearing woman’s clothes. Sure. I can understand that.  As a woman I wear pants all the time 😗 But really…changing your gender….man/woman think about it really hard before you ever take that step. It’s quite an operation!

I guess I am crazy…but what about this society I am living in where we are forced to be labeled man or woman?